So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
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New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
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Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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