She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
