We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
