i just wanna soil my oats bro
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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