Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
do herpes really smell.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
