then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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