I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
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you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
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Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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