There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
