If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
