Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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