So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
