He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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