He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
