Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
