Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
