I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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