Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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