2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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