i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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