girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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