I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
