A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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