I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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