whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
