respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Everyone says I win the strip club
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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