So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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