The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
