i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize