Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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