she woke up with a sticky ear
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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