Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
