does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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