If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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