I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
