I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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