I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
