Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
