I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
