in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
