saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
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She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
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I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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