Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
