All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
