so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize