fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
NoShamevember. You game?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
