Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
