I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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