No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
