Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize