I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
