I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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