babies were throwing up all over the place
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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