Little spoons don't ask big questions
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
