I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
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I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
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Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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