Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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