at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
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