ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
