and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
