I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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