.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Come share oat with me in your robe
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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