I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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