Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
