ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
