I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I have feelings that need drinking.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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